Gorgeousness.....it's all relative.

A very nice American lady just came round to view our old coffee machine, which has been up on Craigslist for a couple of weeks now. She was gorgeous. 9 months pregnant with baby no. 1 (6 days to go, apparently) and glowing. Blonde hair perfectly cut and blow-dried - not a strand out of place. Nails perfectly manicured. Make-up flawlessly applied and not a drop of sweat anywhere to be seen. Lovely perfume. Beautiful long, black maternity dress with gold and metallic black trim. Matching shoes and bag. Beautifully spoken and very polite. Sparkling white teeth when she smiled.

And there was I. Bags under my eyes after 3 hours' broken sleep last night. Wearing an old race t-shirt and cycling shorts (I was working). Hair not brushed, scraped back into a pony tail. Legs need waxing. Nails all messed up with chipped varnish after scrubbing the walls in Jenny's room over the weekend. Cracked skin on my feet because of all the running and the bleach-y water on the floor in Jenny's room while we were scrubbing. Bright blue kinesio tape all over my legs because of my shin splints. Lines, wrinkles and rolls of flab. Tired and stressed, which probably showed. A bit sweaty - no a/c in the office. I don't think I smell but you never know. She did beat a swift retreat after looking at the coffee machine....

I do admit to feeling more than slightly inadequate when she first came in. I've never been one for spending hours getting myself ready before going out in the morning - I own a hairdryer and straighteners but maybe use them a few times a year? But I used to put a bit of make-up on, every day, and perfume. I used to make sure my hair was brushed and had been washed and conditioned every day. I never let my roots show more than half a centimetre before doing to get the colour done. I used to get my legs waxed every 3-4 weeks without fail and would never go out with chipped nail varnish on my fingers. So I felt like a bit of a scarecrow next to her flawless skin, perfect hair and make-up and general, all-round gorgeousness.

Then I remembered how she is going to feel and look in about 6 days time and how many weeks are ahead of her of sore boobs, lack of sleep, night feeds, grabbing a nap when you can, wearing old clothes so that it doesn't matter when the baby pukes on your shoulder or the nappy leaks while you're feeding, in fact not getting dressed till mid-afternoon and barely getting a chance to drag a comb through your hair, let alone wash it and use a hairdryer, and make-up? Make-up? And I grinned inwardly. Hehe.

And then I remembered how, just the other day, I said something to the kids about needing to lose weight because I was too fat....and Josh said "No, you're NOT too fat, Mummy - you're just right, just the way you are. I love you." He thinks I'm gorgeous, bless him.

It's all relative, gorgeousness. I mean...I would love to lose some weight and I absolutely WILL be getting my legs waxed next week, and I'm just about to go and take the chipped varnish off my nails and brush my hair....just because, you know, someone else might come round.... But I'm not going to lose any sleep over that stuff.

I hope the lady enjoys being a Mum and doesn't care about her hair/nails/make-up for a few weeks, while she makes the most of the sheer joy of having a tiny baby, totally dependent on her. I hope she realises that those things really aren't important - or at least, not as important as that baby - and doesn't beat herself up for not being able to achieve the same level of gorgeousness as she currently does. She will still be gorgeous, just in a different way. I hope she knows that.

Service in Singapore - the two ends of the spectrum

As you may or may not know, Singapore is not renowned for its excellent standards of service. In fact, quite the opposite; it is well-known for its really terrible service - in restaurants, shops, banks, petrol stations, insurance companies, cable companies, IT support centres...anywhere you might visit or call as a customer to be served by someone. In many cases, the person serving you simply does not want to be there and shows it (this is typical in cafes and restaurants, banks, large shops, etc.) Or, they might very well be quite happy to be there and are grateful for the job - but just don't know what they are doing or are unable to deviate from the 'script' or 'think outside the box' (most other places and all call centres).

This is largely the fault, I believe, of the school system. That is worth another whole blog post (or several) so I won't go into it here. Suffice to say that Singaporean children are a) expected to excel at everything, with no exceptions (and beaten if they don't, in many cases) and b) taught by rote learning - there is no problem solving. This results in the local population's 'kiasu' (me first) attitude and a total lack of flexibility when young people join the world of work.

It IS possible to get great service here and when you do get it, it really stands out. I have come to expect bad service these days so I laugh it off or let it wash over me. But I applaud great service because it's so unusual! It's sad, because Singaporeans are really quite pleasant people, in general. I love living here, as you will know if you read my post about National Day. But the service standards in Singapore, however much you try to excuse it, are, quite simply, appalling.

Two examples of service, at opposite ends of the spectrum, have arisen in the last few days. I'll start with the frustrating, exasperating, mind-bogglingly incredible example of total inflexibility (because it gets it out of the way, and actually it's quite funny. Then I can move on to the more positive experience and end on a high note.) In this case the bad service wasn't a result of rudeness (although many are), it was simply due to bad processes, the right arm not knowing what the left arm is doing, and a total inability on the part of the call centre agent or her manager to 'think outside the box'.

Background: I bought a phone from M1, one of the 3 major mobile phone operators here, the day before the kids went back to school, so that Isabel could have a working phone with her at school. She had one last year but it died on me as I was getting their back-to-school kit ready. So I popped out and bought a new phone and signed up for a contract (the old one was a pre-paid SIM card) on the most basic package possible and brought the phone home, happy with the friendly service I'd received from the girl in the M1 store, who seemed very efficient. It all seemed too good to be true. Yep - too good to be true.....

A week or so later, I got the first phone bill with the connection charge and the charges pro rata to 31 August. I set up a new payee on our online banking website and paid the bill online. The money left our account and I assumed that all was OK.

A few days later, I hadn't heard from Isabel's teacher with a BG number on her arrival at school at 8.30am, so I called, and the number would not connect. I thought maybe she'd forgotten to charge it and it was switched off, so I assumed 'no news is good news' and got on with my day. No text with snack time BG either - so I texted the teacher to see if everything was OK. No answer - most unlike her. So after a while I called the school office and asked the teacher to call me, which she did, from her own phone - most apologetic. She had texted me but hadn't realised the 8.30am text hadn't gone through until she went to text me at 10.40am (snack), at which point she sent the 8.30am one again plus the 10.40 one but didn't realise THOSE hadn't gone through until I called! She said that she could not make any calls on Isabel's phone so I said I would call the company as soon as I got home. I thought maybe the bill hadn't been paid - perhaps I'd entered wrong data when I set the payee up online.

So I called the company. The first question the bright, cheerful, very young (by the sound of it) call centre agent asked me was whether I had provided proof of the billing address when I took the phone contract out. I said no - it wasn't requested. She was silent for a moment and said "well, it should have been....." Pause. I asked her if the phone had been deactivated? Yes, it had. Was this because I hadn't paid the bill? No, the bill had been paid. So, why was the phone deactivated? Because I hadn't provided a proof of the billing address.

Flabbergasted, I said "But it wasn't requested!" "Well, it should have been...." "But nobody told me.... so you are telling me you cut the phone off with no notice because I didn't provide something that I wasn't asked to provide?" "Yes."

Then it struck me. Ah, clever. "But I've received the first bill, and I've paid it. Does that not count as proof that the billing address was correct?" "Ummmm.....I don't know. I'll check with my manager, please hold the line."

Music.

"Hello, ma'am? No, you should have returned the welcome letter." "What welcome letter?" "The one welcoming you to M1." "But I haven't received a welcome letter...." "Well, you should have done."

Starting to get just a teeny bit frustrated here - but I held it together. "What does the welcome letter say?" "Simply it welcomes you to M1, ma'am." "Does it ask me to return it to you as proof of my billing address?" "Ummmm.....I don't know. I'll check with my manager, please hold the line."

Music.

"Hello, ma'am? No it doesn't." Pause. "So, you're telling me that you have cut the phone off for not providing proof of billing address when I took out the contract, which wasn't requested at the time, and not returning a letter that I haven't received, which even if I had received I would probably not have returned to you because it doesn't state that I should do so."

Pause while she digested this question.

"Ummmm.....yes." She still sounded very young but not nearly as bright and cheerful, by now.

Another pause.

"And you're telling me that the fact that I received and paid the bill does not count as proof that the billing address is correct." "Ummmm....yes."

Totally flabbergasted by this time, I asked "So, what can we do about this?" "Well, you need to return the welcome letter." "But I haven't received a welcome letter." "Well, you should have done...."

I was on the point of throwing the phone out of the window at this point - but I still held it together (Note - I am dead proud of myself for not throwing a tantrum here....)

"OK. Let's start again. I haven't received a welcome letter and I need the phone reconnected today. It's important - it is my five-year-old daughter's school phone and the teacher uses it to contact me on a daily basis because she has a medical condition and needs regular monitoring." Silence. "So I need it reconnected today." "Today, ma'am?" "Yes. As I explained, my little girl has a medical condition and her teacher needs to contact me several times a day. So, how can we get this sorted out? Can you take the fact that I paid the bill as proof of billing address?" "No, ma'am. We cannot do that." "Why?" "Ummmmm.....I don't know, ma'am. Please hold the line."

Music.

"Ma'am, I'm very sorry but we cannot do that." "Why?" "Ma'am, I'm very sorry but we cannot do that." "OK, so what can you do?" "Ummmmm.....please hold the line, ma'am."

Music. Extreme frustration at my end. Smoke starting to come from my ears. Gnashing of teeth. But I held it together....just.

"Ma'am, you need to fax us the copy of your bill." "I don't have a fax machine." "Ummmm.....please hold the line....." "Can't I just speak to your manager?"

Clearly not......music.

"Ma'am, you need to scan in the copy of your bill and email it to this address [address]. Then I can reactivate the phone for you after three working days."

At this point I lost it.

"NO. NO. Don't even GO there. You are lucky I have a scanner - many people do not. So I will scan the bill and you will reactivate the phone today." "Ma'am, I'm sorry but we cannot do that. It's not our procedure." "I'm sorry, but screw your procedure. Tell me this. Technically, is it possible?" "But ma'am, it's not......" "IS IT TECHNICALLY POSSIBLE?" "Yes, ma'am." "Right. I have explained why this is important. I will not go through that again. Is this phone call being recorded?" "Yes, ma'am, for quality purposes. So that we can improve our service to you." "Good. Well, this is how it is going to be. You will receive my email in a few minutes. I expect you to call me back within 2 hours to tell me that you have reactivated the phone. I should NOT have had to go through this in the first place. You need to get your procedures sorted out and you need to get them sorted FAST. None of this should have been necessary. And I expect this issue to be escalated to your manager, and to your manager's manager, and I expect an apology." Silence. "Did you hear me?" "Yes, ma'am." "OK, I'll get that bill scanned right now and you will call me back." Silence. "Did you hear me?" "Yes, ma'am."

The poor girl sounded quite scared at this point...... so I let her go. I snarkily said "Goodbye and thank you VERY much for your help...." and ended the call. Went into the garden and screamed out loud (well, I didn't, but I felt like it!) and poured myself a large G&T (OK, I didn't do that either but only because we didn't have either in the house). I scanned in the bill and emailed it to the address I had been given. Sure enough, within 30 minutes I got a call back telling me the phone had been reactivated. End of story. There it is - a classic example of Singapore service, sadly.

Now, the other extreme. Today's example fully restored my faith in human nature. Isabel's BG meter failed. Actually, it's been playing up for about a week but yesterday evening it was really driving me mad and when it took me 20 minutes to get it to dispense a strip, after midnight, I decided I needed to take it in as soon as possible. And then, today, the finger-pricker on the school meter broke. Snapped in two - totally useless. I was in school anyway for swimming so I used a spare lancet to prick her finger manually (that went down like the proverbial lead balloon) and brought the meter home with me. I put the working pricker on the working meter and took the failing meter and the broken pricker off to the supplier, Roche Diagnostics. On the way home from school I had called Peggy, my main contact at Roche, and explained the problem. "No problem, Mrs Cracknell. Just bring the broken pieces in and we'll see what we can do." "Thank you, Peggy, I'll see you shortly...."

When I got there, she was waiting for me with a smile. "Now, Mrs Cracknell, I have a new meter for you. Here you go...." "How much do I owe you?" "Oh, nothing. It's nothing, please. You can't manage with a broken meter." She didn't even ask to try out the failing one to see what was wrong. No questions asked. All smiles, efficiency and great service. I mean, we spend silly amounts of money with them on strips so we should perhaps expect a free meter or two, now and then, but it was still a very pleasant surprise and she was so friendly and chatty. She asked how Isabel and Bob were doing, listened to and responded appropriately to my answers, commented on my "very nice skirt" and saw me to the door with a pat on the arm, a big smile and a "Lovely to see you, Mrs Cracknell. You take care now and say hello to those cute kids of yours!"

Now, this lady is a middle-aged Singaporean. Typically, middle-aged Singaporean ladies are the most inflexible, unsmiling, unable to 'think outside the box' people when it comes to service - more so than the youngsters and more so than middle-aged men (although not nearly as downright rude as men can be, here). They are lovely ladies if you meet them in a non-customer service context but generally, behind the counter or over the phone, they are difficult to deal with. But Peggy is delightful. Simply delightful. Every time I have any contact with her, she is helpful, friendly and gets my problem resolved, to my satisfaction (not hers) as quickly as she can. In fact, everyone at Roche is great. I have had nothing but good service from them. That's as it should be, from a company providing pharmaceutical products (and it's worth noting that everyone at Medtronic is great too) but still, in Singapore, it deserves a mention because it IS unusual.

Wow, this was a long one! If you have reached this point you are probably thinking that Singaporeans are all rude, inflexible and unable to solve problems creatively. That's not actually true. Most individual Singaporeans that I have met in a social context are lovely people and can be very creative, warm, fun-loving and generous. And hopefully, as the world grows smaller, different cultures get to know each other better and expectations evolve, these standards of service will improve.

In the meantime, I need to get some gin and tonic in, don't I?

Wifey knows best.....

A D-Mum friend wrote a blog post a few days ago about diabetes intuition - i.e. how, when you have a child with diabetes, you sort of get 'in tune' with other diabetics and notice when they are high/low, need a glucose tab, etc. I commented that it has got me into a bit of trouble with Bob on occasion when I've tried to treat him as I would treat Isabel and been told to "back off! I can manage!" ....or words to that effect :)

Tonight was a classic example. Bob asked me, about an hour ago, if I would get him some cheese and crackers. He never asks for cheese and crackers, mid-evening. It was about 2 hours since we'd eaten a carb-free dinner, and he had had several glasses of red wine and was looking a little tired, shall we say.....so my immediate question was "Are you low? Should you test?"

"No. I'm fine. Just a bit hungry. Got the munchies."

"Are you sure? I'll get your meter...."

"NO! I'm fine. Just could do with a little something. I'm not crashing.....I don't want anything sweet......just.....could do with a little something."

I know when to back off.....so I pottered off into the kitchen and got him 2 oat cookies with some smoked salmon and cream cheese, and a glass of juice with a little sparkling water.

He inhaled the cookies and left the juice sitting on the little table next to the sofa, and got on with his wine and reading the Times on his iPad.

A few minutes later I reminded him to drink the juice.

"I'm FINE! I'll finish my wine first."

"Ok, just make sure you drink it."

He rolled his eyes. Grinned at me and finished his wine. Got on with the Times.

"Honey, drink that juice. Please."

Sigh. More eye-rolling. "OK. God, you worry sooooo much. It's totally unnecessary. I'll be high." He drank the juice.

10-15 minutes later...."I'm going to bed. Bit tired..... Are you working?"

"No, I'll come too.....tired myself." So we locked up, got water, found the cat, headed upstairs, did our teeth and so on. I went in to check the kids and came back into the bedroom to find him already in bed, snoozing. "Have you tested? You didn't test since before dinner, right?" "No, but I'm fine. Just tired." "No, I think you should test." "I'm FINE. But whatever - my meter is downstairs. You get it if you're that worried." ....so I headed downstairs to get the meter. More sighing and rolling of the eyes while he tested.

3.4

Ha! Wifey knows best. 3 glucose tabs later and he's fast asleep. Now, I bet he goes high in a couple of hours after all that protein and the low-GI oat cookies. So I said I would test him again when I get up to test Isabel at 1am (she was high and we did a 10pm site change so I'll test her at 1am tonight). Guess what he said? "No, don't worry. I'll be fine. You worry too much."

No, I don't think so. Just intuition. And I'll remind him of that next time he has a go at me for 'nagging' him! MEN!

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Thursday 9 August was Singapore's 47th National Day. I meant to write this on Thursday itself and make it a Thankful Thursday post but, predictably, I didn't get a chance to sit down at the computer all day!

National Day is Singapore's 'birthday'. On 9 August 1965, this little island, with at the time only 1.9 million inhabitants, gained independence from Malaysia and became a republic in its own right. Since then, the population has grown to 5.1 million (2011) residents and non-residents. It's become a true melting pot of cultures - Chinese, Malays, Indonesians, Indians, Filipinos, Europeans (of all nationalities), Americans, Australians, New Zealanders....every nation and every culture must be represented here. Most 'locals' are of Chinese, Indian, Malay or Indonesian extraction and the local languages are Bahasa and Mandarin. English is the country's official language, though, and most Singaporeans (although not all) speak English reasonably well - the older generation and the less well-educated still speak mostly Mandarin. All these cultures have their own festivals and all the major ones are celebrated every year - Chinese New Year, Hari Raya Haji, Deepavali, Hari Raya Puasa, Vesak Day, Easter, the mid-autumn festival (also known as the 'mooncake festival') and Christmas. That means we get a lot of public holidays :)

National Day is celebrated in style every year with a big parade that includes a mega fireworks display and everyone (well, all the locals) gets involved. It's one of the biggest public holidays of the year and Singaporeans love it! Flags start appearing on buildings and cars several days before the day itself, and everyone starts planning their local celebrations as well as taking part or going to watch the main parade at Marina Bay. Most of the local community centres hold a street party and there is always a celebration at each of the local schools the day before (on the day itself, they are on holiday, of course). Singaporeans are very patriotic and extremely proud of their little country.

And quite rightly so. This is a great place to live. There is a thriving economy which has continued to post excellent growth figures compared to the rest of the world despite the ongoing recession and financial crisis. There is little crime. Education is excellent (even if the methods are a little questionable in Western eyes). It's clean, safe and very well-looked after. The government is keen to preserve as much local history and heritage as possible so, even though sometimes it feels like Singapore is one big construction site with multiple shopping malls thrown in, you can find many historical gems and a great deal of natural beauty here. Medical care, for all walks of life, is superb. For locals with low incomes, there is a very effective healthcare system which requires everyone to contribute towards their own care, but at rates which allow Singaporeans to afford medical care in local hospitals that is more than adequate. The system works far better than the UK's NHS, in my view. The armed forces are the best-equipped in Asia and every young man is required to do National Service on leaving school - 2 years of NS in the military, the police force or the civil defence force, plus a reservist obligation that lasts until the age of 40 (50 for officers). Taxation is low and yet public services are excellent.

I'm not going to go into the politics of the Singapore government and the way it is run - I don't know enough about it. Some say that Singapore is bordering on being a dictatorship but I would disagree - the government certainly runs a very tight ship but it is, officially, a democracy and the local population is very proud of that. There are many disadvantages and frustrations involved in living here - high levels of bureaucracy being one of them, as well as a general disregard for (or total lack of) customer service and an inability among Singaporeans (not all, but most) to 'think out of the box' and deviate from the 'script'. Remember that sketch on "Little Britain" - 'compu'er sez noooooo.....' Well, you get quite a lot of that kind of thing here. It's a result of the education system which focuses on rote-learning to get grades, in many schools. But if you're willing to go with the flow and put up with those minor inconveniences, and recognise the reasons behind them (which are cultural - it's nothing personal), Singapore is a wonderful place to live and bring up a family. In general, Singaporeans of all nationalities are friendly, welcoming, polite and thoughtful (OK - not behind the wheel of a car but that's a different blog post altogether - I'll save that for another day). It's far from perfect. But nowhere is perfect! On the whole, though, the country is doing well and we love living here. Indeed, we are proud to live here and be part of Singapore's growth and history.

So on Thursday of last week, on National Day, I wanted to write this post and recognise how very lucky we are to live here. We have good jobs. The kids go to a great school. Bob and Isabel get very good diabetes care and generally our medical care is excellent. The weather is fabulous - too hot for some, but we love it! We have a lovely house right next to a nature reserve - gorgeous. The kids are great swimmers and we have access to fantastic facilities - and a lovely beach - so that they will never lose that skill. We have access to all sorts of different countries very close by so that the kids can experience different cultures, cuisines and languages at the drop of a hat. I could go on, and on, and on about the wonderful benefits we get, living in Asia and specifically Singapore but I'll be here all day! There you have it, in a (big) nutshell.

I'll finish by saying a big thank you, Singapore, for welcoming us - we feel very privileged to have the opportunity to live here. I hope we can stay for many years to come!

Thankful Thursday - Jenny

Today I'm feeling all wobbly. I was feeling a little shaky after swimming at the local pool on Tuesday but put it down to lack of sleep, being carb-free for a week already and exercising. Yesterday, however, I felt really terrible during the day with on/off aches and waves of nausea, and woke up today with a pounding head, aching all over and feeling like the bed was on the deck of a small boat in a big storm at sea. Today's plan was to take the kids to Pasir Ris water park - well, no chance. I couldn't even drive Bob to work - he had to get a cab and was late. So Jenny stepped in with the kids and off they went in a taxi. I am now in bed, with my laptop, trying to get some work done that is due in this evening (if I do it now, I can get to bed early!)

Today's "Thankful Thursday" post is therefore about Jenny. Jenny is our helper/au pair and a real angel. She has been with us over 4 years and the kids love her to bits, like a big sister/young aunty. She has been through Isabel's diagnosis and the whole kiddy-diabetes learning curve with us, and is now confident and capable when it comes to looking after Isabel while I'm not there. Jenny cooks, cleans and does the shopping while the kids are at school, Bob is at work and I'm working or working out, and during school holidays she takes over with the kids if I have to meet a deadline or have a big project on. During school holiday time she and I share the shopping and cooking jobs depending on who's got the kids (and on my deadlines) and everything always gets done - she will do whatever needs doing, and is very adaptable to sudden changes of plan (like today).

In terms of personality - she is quiet, discreet and gentle. She hates to intrude on our space but loves feeling part of the family (she had a great time when we took her on holiday to Australia with us last year!) We make every effort to give her Sundays off but if we do need to ask her to work, she is always willing to help out and does so with a smile.

Jenny came to us from a Chinese family who had her working 18-20 hours a day looking after a family of 4 plus elderly grandparents. She was not allowed to use the washing machine or dryer (even though the family had one) - even the bedding had to be hand-washed. She did not have a single day off in 10 months and ended up going to an employment agency in desperation, who removed her from the family and took her on to their books to find her another job. When we interviewed her she seemed quite cowed and very nervous. I love the fact that she has blossomed in the last 4 years and is now a confident, happy young woman who seems to really enjoy being with us. I know she won't be with us forever - she has a long-term 'boyfriend' back in the Philippines and I expect one day she will want to go home and get married, and have her own kids. For the moment, though, she seems happy. We have taught the kids to treat her with respect and love. Many kids (and adults, in fact) here treat their helpers like slaves and are continually rude and demanding - I won't have that. It took Jenny months to get used to the fact that I am not only OK with her being firm with the kids, I expect it, when they are being naughty! She is still not quite as firm with them as I would be, but her gentle approach actually seems to get results sometimes (although there are times when I have to step in and read the riot act!)

In a nutshell, she is a blessing and I couldn't manage without her! Thank you Jenny!

Blowing the British trumpet - a bit too loud...

As everyone knows, London gets to host the Olympic Games this year, for the third time - the only city ever to have hosted the modern Olympics three times. That is, undoubtedly, something to celebrate, and we were looking forward to watching the Opening Ceremony, having heard that it was going to be a spectacular event. I have followed the torch relay (sort of) and I know lots of friends and family went along to see it pass - a great moment in history. I wish I could have been there for that!

So Bob and I watched the Opening Ceremony on Saturday evening (it had started at 2am local time on the actual day - well, even for a great event such as this, we can't stay up all night so we watched it on the BBC iPlayer later!)  Bob had read a lot about it in The Times during Saturday and I'd seen a few FB status updates on how good it was, but wasn't sure what to expect. In fact, this was the first time I'd ever sat down to watch an Olympics Opening Ceremony - generally I'd rather watch the sport than the pre-games show.

Well, it was certainly spectacular. A true extravaganza, if a bit strange, in places. It really did showcase British history, music, film, comedy, science, technology, industry, the NHS (although I didn't really 'get' that bit, or like it much - big scary puppets threatening kids and lots of weird-looking Mary Poppins characters??? A bit strange, that.) I loved the Mr Bean bit and the bit where Daniel Craig went to Buckingham Palace to pick up the Queen - she really is a good sport.

But I have to say that, watching all of that, it struck a wrong chord. I was struggling to understand how it fitted with the spirit and history of the Olympic Games. Surely, an opening ceremony for an international sporting event should showcase the games - their history, the meaning behind being an Olympian, etc; and the athletes - their sportsmanship, hard work, their dedication, commitment, talent; and how sport brings us together and transcends boundaries, transcends politics, wars and religious conflicts? That is what the Olympics is about, to me, and that is how the Olympics should be opened. It's not about who throws the party, surely?

It's like me hosting a huge bash for all my friends to celebrate their achievements and big events this year and over the last 4 years - getting married, reaching a milestone birthday, giving birth, winning a race, getting a book published, getting over a serious illness, etc.....and then spending the first two hours of the party showcasing my house, telling them how long it took to prepare, how I got to this point in my life and how they could have done none of what they have achieved, without me. Just a little distasteful, don't you think?

And in this economic climate, with global warming and recession hitting the headlines almost daily in some form or another, it also seemed a little vulgar and unnecessary. The whole event must have cost millions and millions of pounds, that Britain just doesn't have to spend. Yes, I know that it will (hopefully) bring tourism income into the country, plus there's all the sponsorship and advertising income....but will it break even? It sends the wrong message, I think, in these times of austerity.

I know, I sound unpatriotic. Don't get me wrong - in many ways I'm very proud to be British and I think it's fabulous that Britain wants to celebrate its great history and its contribution to the arts, science, technology, world politics, etc. But there is a time and a place for that - the Jubilee, the Royal Wedding, etc. This occasion is not about Britain. It's about sport, sportsmanship, dedication, sheer guts and hard work, achieving goals, working as a team, international cooperation, etc.

So it was when the footage of the torch relay started that I really started enjoying the show. That was brilliant - seeing how the torch carriers ran/walked/were pushed in their wheelchairs through towns, villages, the countryside all over Great Britain....meeting people, representing different areas of the community, different walks of life. It was heartwarming to see families out watching the torch go by and know that many of the youngsters will remember this as a great moment in history. Then, to watch the athletes marching in to the stadium was just incredible. The pride, excitement and joy that shone through on everyone's face was inspirational. And they were having so much fun! What an honour and a privilege for them to be there, and what a great culmination to four years of hard work and training.

The speeches by Sebastian Coe and Jacques Rogge were, quite simply, brilliant. Not brilliantly delivered but hey, these guys are sportsmen, not actors. The messages about sport, sportsmanship and dedication were loud and clear, however, and very well-said.

Then the lighting of the cauldron.....well, that was truly amazing, spectacular, emotional, fantastic....I'm running out of words here. I loved that there were 7 young, upcoming sportsmen and sportswomen, each chosen by an ex-Olympian, carrying the torch around the arena before the cauldron was finally lit - and the actual lighting of the cauldron, with all the flames representing all the countries taking part, coming together to make one big, united flame, was fantastic. It was one of the most emotional moments of the whole event, for me. And it was totally fitting that Steve Redgrave carried the torch into the arena - he is one of Britain's best, most dedicated sportsmen and our greatest Olympian (quite apart from being a thoroughly nice guy!)

So, in a nutshell, apart from the winged cyclists (didn't get that bit AT ALL) and Paul McCartney (I've said it before and I'll say it again - the man cannot sing), the second half of the Opening Ceremony was a triumph. Oh, and apart from the Team GB outfits. Big McCartney family fail all round, I reckon!

Already, since the ceremony, Team GB has won two medals - silver for Lizzie Armitstead in the women's cycling road race (a fantastic race - well done Lizzie) and bronze for Rebecca Adlington in the 400m freestyle, in a faster time than her gold-winning time four years ago! Amazing achievements from both, which make me indeed proud to be British.

Now, it's time for some more great and inspirational sport over the next two weeks - I am thoroughly looking forward to that! Bring it on - and go Team GB!

Change is the only constant - or words to that effect

I can't remember who said that, and I can't find the exact quote on Google. I'm sure it was some old Greek chap like Plato or Heraclitus - one day I'll check it out. For now, though, it's the concept that I want to write about. Now, I could go on and on and write a big philosophical essay on that, but that's not what this post is about....it's about Isabel and one of the key points about managing her diabetes: eating properly, and the routine and responsibility that goes along with that.

It was a difficult, tantrum-filled, drama-queen breakfast-time yesterday, trying to get Isabel to eat a bowl of yoghurt and cereal before the camp bus arrived at 8.00 to pick the kids up. It resulted in a looooooooong discussion with Bob in the car on the way to work, about how we can a) reduce stress levels about breakfast in the mornings when she has to be out of the house at a certain time; b) teach her some table manners (!!) and c) generally get the message across to her that she has a responsibility to start learning to look after herself and think about what she is eating, and when she eats it. She's only 5, so it's early days, but not too early to get her starting to think about it, we reckon.

The thing about Isabel is that she is not a huge routine junkie, like Josh and me. She is more like Bob (who is the most spontaneous, 'wing-it', 'fly-by-the-seat-of-yer-pants' guy on the planet!) And she's not a big eater - particularly in the mornings. Her ideal morning 'routine' would be to get up when she wakes up, read a book, watch a bit of TV, maybe have a Yakult, maybe a nibble on a fruit bar, maybe nothing at all for the first hour, maybe a big breakfast fairly quickly if she'd not had much dinner the night before or if she wakes up slightly on the low-BG side. Bob is the same - but he can quite happily go without breakfast, reduce his own basal slightly or correct a high depending on how he feels and what his meter says, and grab a coffee and/or a sandwich when he gets to work - or eat breakfast at home if he feels like it. He's an adult, so he's able to be more flexible.

So we talked about flexibility with regard to Isabel and her breakfast. I was insistent. "She needs to eat breakfast. Ok, it's fine in school holidays, when she can get up as and when she likes, eat when she feels like it and not worry about it, but what about when they go back to school in August? She has to be out of the house at 7.40am and we can't expect her teacher to treat hypos or give extra insulin or not when she gets to school, depending on whether or not she decided she wanted breakfast that day. It's not fair on the teacher. She has to learn to eat breakfast and have a bolus and it must be the same thing every day. That's what works for her BG in the mornings."

To cut a long story short, we ended up agreeing that although this approach does indeed work well for her BG, it's like forcing a square peg into a round hole, for Isabel, and could result in long-term issues such as eating disorders if we force the issue too much now.  We need to find a way to be more flexible, letting her feel empowered about her morning routine (such as it is), while STILL understanding that there has to be a degree of routine because of her diabetes, and that she has a responsibility, to herself and to others, to stick to it! What a conundrum.

After much discussion, we came to a decision - we will test her when she gets up, bolus her up front for any correction and the bits of her breakfast that she always eats (Yakult and a spoonful of Manuka honey) and then let her choose a nibbly something (an oat biscuit, a fruit bar, a digestive biscuit, 2 Ritz biscuits) that doesn't involve more than about 12g-15g of carbs and that she can take in the car to school with her if necessary, and a piece of cheese or ham for protein. Then we see what she eats of that and top up her bolus right before we leave for school.

We talked it through with her yesterday evening and then tried it this morning.  It worked better - she had her breakfast out on the deck and, true to form, chugged her Yakult and spoonful of honey right off....then ran about, trampolined, checked out her 'jewellery box', read a book.....all the while nibbling on a piece of Parmesan cheese and a fruit strip worth 12g. Finally it was all gone without really very much nagging on my part - just the odd reminder.  Much less stress all round!

But one thing that Bob said really stuck in my mind. "The only constant is change....so you know what'll happen? This will work for a while and then it'll all change again." Yes, that's exactly what will happen with Isabel. Before long, this will start to look like a 'routine' to her - and she can't deal with that. She will want to change it - on her terms! What then? I guess we will see. I have something to learn here, too. I have to roll with her and let her be flexible, and learn to be more flexible myself. When she wants to change, instead of battling with her and it becoming a case of the irresistible force (her) meets the immovable object (me), I have to find a way to move out of the way (while insisting that her irresistible force still says "excuse me, please" before barrelling through, and "thank you" when I move!)

The other "change" quote that springs to mind as I write this is something Grandma taught me when I was little and which I have always loved, although I struggle with it.....being a control freak AND a routine junkie who really can't deal with 'winging it'!  It's the Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." 

I always think there should be another line after "....to accept the things I cannot change" - it should go : "....accept the things I cannot change and the things that change whether I want them to or not...." or words to that effect.

Well, serenity has never been one of my strong points but neither is it one of Isabel's, so I suspect the battles of wills will continue, at least for a while - hopefully they will become fewer as she grows up and learns to accept some degree of routine, and I keep on learning to accept change. Let's hope we meet in the middle one day!

General ramblings and random musing about the last couple of weeks....

I have a little spare time today and have been wanting to write for a few days now....so here I am, striking while the iron is hot! It's not much - just a few little snapshots of life over the last couple of weeks. But this is as much about me keeping a 'journal' as anything else, so read on if you're interested - but if not, no worries :)

The kids had last week 'off' - no school, no camps. The previous week they had been at separate camps - Josh at an all-day camp run by his rugby squad, Centaurs, involving outdoor games, activities, lots of getting muddy, etc. - he had a blast. His favourite part was the day they spent at MacRitchie reservoir, literally just around the corner from our house, kayaking. fabulous fun! Isabel spent the week at an all-morning art camp run by her regular art class, Abrakadoodle. She is such a great little artist and had a wonderful time being creative and using her imagination. The theme for the camp was 'Once Upon A Time' so, as you can imagine, she was in her element - what with unicorns, princesses, knights, castles, fairies, magic lands.....she loved it! Among other things she made a Faberge egg and a fairy castle out of modelling clay (the egg comes in two parts and has a tiny unicorn inside made of modelling clay), did a copy of Van Gogh's 'Starry Night' painting, made a princess's crown, a knight's shield, a Chinese dragon.....the list goes on. Of course it all had to go on display in her room (apart from the Faberge egg, which is "for YOU, Mummy and Daddy", so that's on display in the living room!)

So, last week was free and we did some fun things around Singapore. I had plenty of work to juggle and we didn't get out and about every day (apart from anything else, it rained a lot...) but we did get out a bit. We had lunch at Bollywood Veggies one day, and explored Kranji a bit...and we went into town a couple of times to eat at their favourite food courts and do a bit of shopping (for Moshi Monsters, mainly....the latest craze!)

On Wednesday evening we decided that we would go for a picnic on Thursday, at Pasir Ris Park (north-eastern Singapore). Thursday morning arrived with black clouds looming large and rain forecast but, being true Brits, we decided we would go anyway. The kids went to the local playground with Jenny first thing so I could squeeze in a couple of hours' work and by the time they got back it was raining....but the radar map showed no rain in the north so off we went! Well, by the time we got there the rain map had changed rather a lot....the rain had started to come down in a drizzle and it really was too wet for a picnic outside. But we headed off to the playground area, found a shelter and sat in there to eat. Then the kids went out to play.....by that time it was pouring! No thunder though, so they carried on. The lovely thing about rain in Singapore is that it cools everything down so much but you don't get cold! So when there's no lightning it's great to play and run outside in the pouring rain - beautiful. The kids got wet, muddy and tired, tearing about in the rain, playing on the playground. The park was deserted, of course - Singaporeans really don't like to be out in the rain. It was great. But then there was a rumble of thunder.....and a flash of lightning. Josh freaked! He is quite scared of lightning (rightly so - Singapore has the highest frequency of lightning strikes in the world....something to do with the level of metals in the ground, I think?) So it was time to run back to the car and head home. Quite an adventure!

We calmed things down with a visit to the library. Josh, true to form, was delighted to find a Dick King-Smith collection of 5 books in one ("look, Mummy - 5 books in one, that means less to carry and I only have to borrow one book!) while Isabel chose her full allowance of 8 books (I didn't tell her that she could have had another 7, on Josh's card - we'd have been there all year) and off we went home. Isabel went straight in with her pile of books, curled up on the sofa and settled down with a Magic Tree House book to start with. Josh dumped his single book on the dining room table and went upstairs to play the piano!

Last week was also marked by Josh's first drum lesson. He has been begging for drum lessons for several weeks now and we finally gave in. He now has piano, guitar and drum lessons and is soaking up the music like a little sponge. He's got to the point with his piano playing where he is composing his own stuff, improvising, jazzing up pieces from his books, etc. With guitar, he plays stuff by Snow Patrol, Bruno Mars, The Eagles - we pull it up on YouTube and he practices by playing along with the music video. Quite how he will practice his drums I don't know - of course he wants a drum kit for Christmas. It might have to go out on the balcony....!

This week they are at another camp - Camp Magic. This involves arts and crafts, storytelling, circus skills, baking, dancing, music, outdoor games.....you name it, it's in there. The theme is 'Ecuador' this week (they run a 6-week series with a different theme each week and this year they have all been South American countries). So I'm fully expecting them to finish the week having made some Ecuadorean food, painted Ecuadorean pictures, made a sombrero, played the pan pipes and the drums....lots of fun!

So I've got the house to myself all day this week, between taking Bob to work and the kids getting home at 3.30. It's lovely and quiet and right now I'm sitting out on the deck with my computer, planning to get on with some work in a while. On Monday morning I was on the balcony cooling off after my workout and a beautiful kingfisher came and sat on the fence for a while. The garden is looking gorgeous at the moment - I love living in a house with a garden, next to the jungle! Yesterday we took a trip to the zoo right after the kids got home from camp, but really we needn't have - we have our own zoo right here! Monkeys, birds, butterflies, squirrels, snakes, geckos....not to mention the gazillion neighbourhood cats and of course my two munchkins and their hundreds of Moshi Monsters. We love to visit the zoo occasionally though - Isabel likes the zebras and Josh enjoys seeing the lions and pygmy hippos. Then of course there is the carousel and the water play area - always a big hit.

Next week is free again - no camps, and they don't go back to school until 28 August. So I need to get my thinking cap on and plan some activities for next week! We already said we would go to Sentosa one day and visit the butterfly park there, and have lunch at Coastes. Maybe we'll go over on the cable car - that's always fun and they have an Angry Birds event on at the moment. There is certainly no shortage of things to do here - I love it. Fingers crossed for good weather - not TOO scorchingly hot and no storms, please!

From worrier to warrior....

I dropped Joshua off first thing this morning for the first day of his 'Centaurs' camp. This is a week-long series of activity days organised by Centaurs Rugby, who he plays for on a Saturday morning. Centaurs isn't only a rugby squad (although that's its primary activity) - it runs bootcamps for adults, sports-themed birthday parties, corporate events, sessions in a muddy assault course known as 'The Pit' (which ALL the rugby kids get to do on the last day of the rugby term - they LOVE it!) and these camps that take place during school holidays. This is the first year that Josh has signed up for one of the camps and he has been super-excited for weeks now. Being Josh, however, he started worrying a couple of days ago, when he realised that it was Actually Happening On Monday.

The questions started on Friday but by yesterday afternoon they were coming thick and fast.... Mummy, where will we be going tomorrow? Do you know EXACTLY where you have to take me? What do I need to take in my bag? What time does it start? What time do we have to leave the house? What time does it finish? Will you pick me up? Which water bottle should I take? Where will you have to drop me off? Are you dropping me off or staying with me? Who will be there? Are any of my friends from U7s going? (The camps are open to all kids, not just those who play rugby for Centaurs, and are run by various people, not just the regular rugby coaches....) Will we be playing rugby? Do I need to wear rugby boots or trainers? What other games will we play? What if I've never played them before? How will I know the rules? Which shirt should I wear? .....and so on, well into the evening right up until I was settling him down in bed. Then he started again this morning......the same questions, many of them repeated over and over again. 


This is Josh trying to prepare himself for the unknown. He is really NOT a fan of the unknown - even 'good' unknown, like an activity camp. He is extremely uncomfortable with change and lack of routine, he really doesn't like surprises and he likes to be prepared. The worst thing we can do, with Josh, is to be spontaneous. He simply can't cope with it! And if he has an expectation that something is going to be a certain way, he falls apart if it doesn't happen like that. I sympathise - I am exactly the same and it's taken me nearly 40 years simply to learn to cope better in strange situations or when things don't work out as planned (and I still don't manage it, sometimes!) So I totally understand where he is coming from. He is trying to find out as much as possible in advance so that he is comfortable going into the situation. 


So I answered his questions as best I could (I didn't know all the answers, myself) and off we went this morning. He held tightly to my hand as we approached the registration tent and the guy checked off his name. The questions continued.... Mummy, where do I go now? What about my camp t-shirt? Where should I put my bag? We sorted everything out and suddenly, he saw a friend from his U7s squad and he was off. Not a backward glance. I'll pick you up at 3, I shouted after him..... OK! he yelled back, and off he went, noisily and with vast amounts of enthusiasm, to join in the kick-about. From worrier to warrior, just like that. 


And I headed back to the car with my heart pounding.....Joshua is SO like me in that he worries about the unknown, needs to find out the facts in advance, needs to set his expectations, make plans, be prepared.....and yet he is then so like Bob in that suddenly, he can turn the worry switch off and immediately start enjoying the moment. He will have forgotten about all that worrying, all those questions and is no doubt, right now, having the time of his life - getting muddy, tearing about with friends, playing all sorts of new sports and games that he's not tried before. There's the difference between him and me.....I don't have the ability simply to turn off that worry switch. It is always an effort with me to stop worrying and it only ever happened as a child or a teenager once I was fully and thoroughly in my comfort zone - not just on the sight of one friend, like with Joshua this morning. Even now, as an adult, I have to talk myself into not worrying. It is possible and I am pretty good at it these days, and some people even think I'm 'laid-back' - but they are so very wrong! I still have to be in my comfort zone - I've just expanded my comfort zone somewhat and am much better at putting a brave face on when I'm not in it.  I still panic when my carefully laid plans for the day don't turn out as they should. I still plan things down to the nth degree and then make endless lists to make sure things get done on time. I still get stressed with disorganisation and clutter. I am better at resigning myself to the inevitable, these days, though - when things don't work out and things don't get done, the panic still rises but I can work through it, come out the other side. Most of the time, anyway.

I'm so glad Joshua does appear to have that worry switch and knows how to turn it off, at least sometimes. Hopefully as he gets older he will learn that he needn't always turn it on in the first place. Sometimes it's a good thing - there's nothing wrong with being prepared! But let's hope he's inherited the best of both worlds - my planning and organisation skills (yes, let's put a positive spin on my slightly obsessive tendencies) and Bob's ability to go through life enjoying the moment and not worrying about the future. What a potentially awesome combination! My job for the moment is to give him as much security as possible by answering his incessant questions patiently, sticking to my promises (like picking him up in THIS place, at THAT time, etc.) and helping him work through his worries and fears with love. I am hoping that will equip him with the strength to become a warrior, rather than a worrier.


He's certainly going to be a muddy little warrior when I pick him up at 3, as promised, this afternoon - I can't wait to hear about his day!

Thankful Thursday....

Wow, nothing for a year and then two posts come along at once. It's like the London buses, I hear you cry!

Well, I was inspired to post this morning 'just because', and then remembered just now that it's Thursday and that my good friend Amy started up a 'Thankful Thursday' theme for blog posts last year, which I thought was a great idea. (You can read her blog at Embrace Diabetes - do have a look, it's a good one.)  Anyway, I think it's really not a bad thing to remind myself on a regular basis that I have so much to be thankful for. And seeing as I have started this blog up again, I thought I'd strike while the iron is hot (and the kids are out with Jenny and it's peaceful at home). So here it is. A short one, as I have to get on with some work, but from the heart.

As many of you reading this will know, about 2 months ago we moved from a condo apartment with no outside space, where we'd been living since we came to Singapore 6 years ago, to a house with a garden. To cut a long story short, it was the best move we have ever made. I really believe it was meant to happen. A whole load of things just fell into place, and here we are. We have a garden, a BBQ, outside furniture, a trampoline and a basketball hoop (yes, it's the little things). We have more space inside and the kids have their own rooms now (since there is a converted balcony that I can now use as an office). Jenny (our helper) has a much bigger room and a proper bathroom. Our kitchen is huge and airy, and we have a pantry. We have a linen cupboard! We have a big balcony at the front where the kids can do arts and crafts and painting, even in the rain. We are right next to the jungle at MacRitchie Reservoir - it's literally a 30-second walk to the trail, where I go running. It's in a lovely quiet location away from main roads and traffic - you wouldn't think you were in a city. Unbelievably, it's cheaper than our old place. And there are the monkeys! We can dine out on monkey stories for months to come even though we only moved in during April! I love it, and I am so thankful that everything worked out so that we could move here. There's still work to do (my office, mainly! ....and some pictures to hang) but it's a real family home already and I hope we can stay here for at least the next few years. We couldn't be happier :)

Starting up again!

It's been a while since I blogged. Getting on for a year, I think! Maybe because I had expectations of this blog that were too high. So I haven't made the time to really sit down and write.

Well, I still want to write, as in really WRITE. I want to put together posts that are worth reading, well-written and meaningful, posts that really SAY something about me, my life, my family, my beliefs and how I am feeling. I have three posts started and saved in draft form that I haven't had time to finish writing! But those real writing sessions aren't going to happen very often, I suspect. So, just to 'keep in touch', I'm going to try and just post little bits, a bit more often. The updates won't be anything earth-shattering but maybe someone will enjoy reading them and they'll help me sort out what's going on in my life, unravel some of the threads and remember some of the lovely moments that I will regret not recording, even if they are only recorded quickly, in the future.

Like this morning....I went to edit my FB status and it turned into a series of ramblings.....aimless musings. I looked at it and thought....that's too long! So that's why I'm here now. I opened up this page for the first time in a year or so, wrote all of the above and now I'm going to post about my morning. Then I'm going to close it down, get on with today and maybe post something else in a day or two....and then again a day or two after that.....and when I have time, in a week or two, I will pick up on one of the threads that I started writing about last year.....and it'll turn into something really worth reading :)

Well, this morning...I woke up feeling tired (worked till 1am, heavy rain and storms all night so I didn't sleep well) and dispirited (bad bedtime battle with Josh, depressed hubby, persistent high BG for Isabel all night and unnecessary needling from a fellow translator about my English grammar in a forum question I asked. Why would someone do that? Just so that she could look clever, I guess. That really wound me up!) Add a touch of PMS into the mix and you get the picture.

I took Bob to work, came home, had a coffee and a bacon sarnie and grabbed my running shoes. Within 3 steps, literally, my mood lifted! Awesome (if slow) run - 6km in cool post-storm fresh air and the rain started again halfway back - whoooo-hooo! I love running in the rain - it's one of the best things about living in Singapore. And running in the jungle in the rain is even better - so cool, fresh and quiet.

I got back in a torrential downpour to really excited kids because there was a 'waterfall' in the garden (one of the storm drains!) Juiced 1/2 a pomelo and 2 kiwi fruit in the juicer and had a hot shower. There is NOTHING like freshly squeezed, ice-cold juice with sparkling water after a run, followed by a shower....a cool shower on a hot day, and a HOT shower on a day like today. I don't get to enjoy a hot shower very often - most of the time a cool shower is more pleasant. But today is definitely a HOT shower day :)

Well, it's still raining. The Elba technician just left - he can't repair the cooker hob so it looks like we will have to have a new one. The landlord came round and they discussed it at length in Mandarin (I really MUST do something about Mandarin lessons) and agreed to get a replacement put in tonight. Great service from the technician - he was on time, polite, meticulous and very thorough. And our landlord is great - so helpful and friendly. I am so happy that we made the move to this place :)

So.....the plan for today was to go for lunch at the Marina Bay Sands shopping mall in the food court, and a walk in the newly opened Gardens By The Bay. But the munchkins are playing happily upstairs (Isabel is still in her nightie) and the rain is coming down in torrents. Thunder is rumbling, lightning is flashing and the weather radar map is one big blob of bright red and orange (storms!) So perhaps we will stick around here and I'll spend the day working. And maybe finally do something about arranging Mandarin lessons. Watch this space - that is definitely something I will blog about!