Turbulence

Long-haul flights.....tedious. I've done so many now, and I'm used to the drill.

You get on the plane (make sure you go to the loo before going to the gate, as it will be at least an hour and a half after boarding before you'll get a chance to go again); settle yourself down with whatever you need in a small bag under the seat in front; laugh inwardly at the people who INSIST on bringing the biggest possible carry-on bag onto the plane and jamming it into the overhead locker, fighting for space with the other twits who did the same thing, then having to spend the whole flight without THAT essential thing they forgot to get out of the suitcase before jamming it into said locker and now can't get out; buckle seatbelt; laugh inwardly again at the over-made-up stewardess with a massive beehive hairdo (well, on Singapore Airlines anyway); have a drink of water; watch everyone else getting on and wonder who's going to end up sitting next to you; sit through the safety drill trying to pay attention but really knowing there's little point (you've seen it before a million times, and you know darn well that if the plane ditches in water there's no point knowing where the lifejackets are anyway); leaf through the in-flight entertainment magazine and decide which movies/TV programmes are worth watching; have a look at the menu and decide if the meals are worth having; wonder when the plane will take-off so you can have a glass of wine....and you're off.

That's for flights without the kids. Add them into the mix and you have a whole different ball-game. All of the above plus "Mummy, when can I watch a movie?"..."Mummy, I need to go for a wee" (just as everyone has settled down and the plane is taxiing)..."Mummy, I'm uncomfortable"..."Mummy, I'm bored"..."Mummy, are we nearly there yet?" (before the plane has even left the terminal). Sheeesh. The life of an expat.

Well, once all that excitement is over, you settle down for the long haul. The hours of movie-watching, dozing (if you can), eating lukewarm plane food in little trays, shifting around in a too-small seat, trying to remember to move your legs and feet frequently to avoid DVTs, listening to music, reading, thinking.

And then there's a 'ding!' and the seatbelt sign flicks on. There's an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, the aircraft is experiencing turbulence. Please return to your seats and ensure your seatbelt is securely fastened. The toilets must not be used at this time. Parents, please lift your infants from the bassinets and carry them on your laps with the infant seatbelt securely fastened. We are suspending the drinks service until the aircraft is clear of turbulence." Cue the wailing babies and grumbling parents, the scramble to get back to seats, the tired stewardesses coming round to check on seatbelts and baby bassinets.

This generally happens 3 or 4 times on a good flight - more, on a bad one (especially during monsoon in India, which can be really bumpy). I've experienced turbulence on aeroplanes hundreds of times. I used to fly to Holland every week for work, in a previous life as a management consultant before we emigrated. For six months I turned up at City Airport early every Monday morning and battled with the middle-aged, grey-haired, Times-bearing Suits to get on a small plane over to Amsterdam with no seat allocation (it was elbows at dawn, believe me). And every Friday afternoon back it was the same deal (although I liked Friday afternoons - the only train from the small town outside Amsterdam got me into Schipol airport at least 3 hours before the flight, so I had plenty of time to go shopping - and WOW, Schipol has some great shops!) I'd get on the plane and have a coffee or a G&T, depending on whether it was Monday or Friday. The flight was just over an hour and invariably there was turbulence over the North Sea. It was always bumpy. Once, a whole G&T got spilt all over my best work jacket. Now that is alcohol abuse. Thankfully it was Friday and I was on my way home (although, had it been Monday, it would have been coffee all over me - not QUITE such a bad thing to be smelling off in the office).

So I know all about turbulence. I know that the aircraft is built to cope with it. I know that the pilots are trained to deal with it. I know that their instruments and communications systems allow them to be aware in advance, or to be alerted from the ground, of where turbulence is likely to be, and allow them to avoid it if need be. I know all this from years of flying experience and from watching the in-flight educational film about turbulence and why you shouldn't worry about it, that is kindly offered by Singapore Airlines. (And I make sure I NEVER watch air disaster movies!)

And still, every time I hear that 'ding!' and see the seatbelt sign flick on, I tense up. I can't relax. I wait for the bumps and wonder how bad it is going to be. I try and breathe deeply, relax, stay calm....but with every bump comes a slight intake of breath, my fists clench and I have to actively stop myself from imagining the worst.

I was on a long-haul flight just last week. I'd watched a great movie and a performance of Swan Lake, had dinner and a couple of glasses of wine and was feeling sleepy. Bob and I were lucky enough to have a row of three seats to ourselves, and it was my turn to have my feet up, so I was comfortable and dozing off. Then...of course. 'Ding!' "Ladies and gentlemen...." blah blah blah. My heart sank. The aeroplane started to bump around. Up and down, bumpy-bump. Then a period of calm...then...BUMP! And a few more bumps. Buffeted around by air currents, clouds, a storm - I don't know what. It was REALLY bumpy and went on for ages. I lay there and tried to relax. I grabbed my iPod and plugged in my headphones, found some relaxing music. I started a visualisation exercise - visualised the aeroplane landing safely in Singapore, visualised an aeroplane flying smoothly through bright weather, in a cloudless sky, with amazing views of land and sea below. I visualised us arriving home the next day and greeting the children. I thought about all the hundreds of times I've flown before, going through turbulence and coming out the other side unscathed. As hundreds of thousands of flights do, every day. I chanted to myself "It's going to be over in a minute. Over in a minute. Over in a minute..." and so on.

Then I started thinking about how turbulence is like life's rough patches, in a way. I have been going through a rough patch, just recently. I realised that I just have to grit my teeth, try and relax, breathe deeply, smile, stay positive, stay strong and get through it. It will be over, eventually. Some patches are worse than others, but eventually I come out the other side unscathed, because, like an aircraft, I am equipped to cope. In fact, I'm better off. You see, in an aeroplane, as a passenger, I don't have a lot of choice as to the outcome and I don't know when the turbulence is coming or when it's going to end. I just have to buckle my seatbelt, trust the pilot, trust the airworthiness of the plane and weather the storm. There are things I can do to make it more bearable (iPod, movies, a hip flask - fill it up during meal service!) but I can't prevent it. But in life's rough patches, there are choices I can make and steps I can take to affect the outcome, as well as the steps I can take to make it more bearable. And when I do come out the other side, not only am I unscathed, I am stronger. I have learned (hopefully) from the experience.

I guess it's a bit more like being the pilot of the plane - I'm more in control. And there's no point worrying about it. There's no point wishing it were different. It is what it is, and I just have to get through it. I am on a set flight path and I have to stick to it, like a pilot. Every flight will experience turbulence. I don't think I've ever been on a flight where there was no turbulence at all. I don't know anyone who has never had a rough patch in their life. But eventually, with turbulence, you get through it, and then it's a smooth flight again, for a while. So it can be with life's rough patches....or not. I realised it's my choice. I can decide how I'm going to deal with turbulence. Maybe I don't know when it's coming (unlike a pilot, who generally gets a bit of warning) but I can control how effectively I deal with it and there is usually something I can do to help myself get through it. Like knowing that it's not forever. Knowing that, like an aeroplane, I am equipped to cope (the love and support of my family, my friends, my music, my running, all those things that get me through). Accepting that although I may feel tense or scared, and maybe angry or upset (and it's OK to feel those things), after some time those feelings will pass. They may come back - there is likely to be more than one patch of turbulence on every flight - but that's OK, because I know I can work through them and deal with them.

And at least, in life, when I hit turbulence I can still get a coffee or a glass of wine and use the loo!